I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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