i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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