idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Can you bring me the toilet please
Randomize
