I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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