Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
