I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
