Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
