SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I have fence marks all over my body
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
