I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you will always have a special place in my vag
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
