A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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