I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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