Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize