Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
