The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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