She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
