Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize