you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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