You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
