i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
