Im at strip club and am horny
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
