Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
