he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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