quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
