Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
