i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
