can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
