I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize