i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
How external is "for external use only"?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
