Where is the hickey?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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