SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
