its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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