you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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