were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
