Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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