Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
