i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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