you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
