What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
