i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
