just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
