Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
