I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
