his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
