he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
