So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
