Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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