What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
