They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
