started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
