its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
areolas are like halos for boobs.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
