erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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