i barfeds in our rink
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
