i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
