I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
