i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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