so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize