Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I need water and some morals
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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