your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
