can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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