Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
