Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
