Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
