Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
