You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
