Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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