Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
