This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
where am i from again
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
