My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
did you just send me my own nude
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I think my moral compass just broke
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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