you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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