omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
