i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
