i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
