everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Can you bring me the toilet please
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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