Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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