pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
