I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
