omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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