omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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