wat bout pragnant strippers??
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I think i peed on brittanys purse
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize