How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
