We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
