im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
