He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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