In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
