Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
