So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
