I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
