Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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